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(Talking about going to Santacon as Rave Santa)
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Dan:
... and you could wear rave gear, with glow sticks and bright colours!
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Scott:
But it'd only work if we went somewhere with fluorescents.
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Jazz:
Scott. We call them "Asians" now...
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(One day earlier, Scott wanders into the bathroom)
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Scott:
*pause* DAVID, YOU WERE LAST IN HERE. WHY CAN'T YOU PUT THE TOILET ROLL ON THE HOLDER? IT'S NOT DIFFICULT. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO DO IT?
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(Today, Scott wanders into the bathoom)
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Scott:
*pause* DAVID, WHAT DID YOU DO? THE TOILET ROLL HOLDER IS ON THE FLOOR!
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(David laughs like a little girl)
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JAZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
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Jazz:
Hahaha...
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(After talking about getting rid of crap in the house)
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Scott:
That's illegal. That's flytipping.
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Jazz:
Ya know, I never got that. Why call it flytipping? If anything, it's extreme littering!
-
(We were talking about the toxicity of marijuana and other drugs)
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Sam:
Weed can kill you because it can make you depressed and kill yourself. It makes you paranoid.
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Jazz:
Well, that just means you're going to think ~other~ people are going to kill you, really...
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Joe:
(To Phil) So you had better clear your mess up, because if it's not done in the morning. I will take a huge shit in your bed. Agreed
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Phil:
Agreeeeed.
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Jazz:
I really hope he doesn't do it. I really want to see you shit in his bed. Haha..
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Phil:
So do I. So... do... I. Because then I'll shit in HIS bed.
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Joe:
What have I done to you?!
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Phil:
...You'd have shit... in... my... bed....
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Jazz:
(To Lizzy) I just saw a girl who looks just like you!
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Lizzy:
What did she look like?
-
Jazz:
...
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Christie:
[Talking about Joe] ... and he poured beer on my head! He's horrible. I'll have to get him back for that!
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Joe:
*protesting* Uh! What?! You already got me back.
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Christie:
What? When?!
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Joe:
When you came over last week and stayed with me...
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Jazz:
May I have one of those Oreos? I'm staaarving.
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Joe:
You may have AN Oreo.
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Phil:
Yes, Jazz. AN Oreo.
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Jazz:
Well, of course I'm going to have an Oreo. I'm not going to have A Oreo am I? That would be grammatically incorrect!
-
"freepostage":
Swine Flu may be in my town!
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Jazz:
I'm glad to be English!
-
Jazz:
No Swine Flu here!
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"freepostage":
Not YET!
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Jazz:
I HAVE THE IMMUNE SYSTEM OF A HARDENED BATTLE PIG!
-
Jazz:
...oh wait. D:
-
(There is a knock at the door after ordering pizza.)
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Jazz:
Pizza!
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Phil:
Ooh, that sounds ominous...
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Jazz:
... Ominous?
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Phil:
Om nom nominous.
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Jazz:
Hahaha.
-
(Kali is talking about her ex accusing her of seeing someone.)
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Kali:
And do you know who he said it was?
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Jazz:
I don't know... Dean? Haha.
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Kali:
No. He said I was seeing Derek***
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Jazz:
Derek?!?!
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Kali:
I asked him why he thought that, and he told me it was because I told him I wasn't going to go for my usual type.
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Jazz:
So Derek?
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Kali:
Yeah... I told him I wasn't going for my usual type, but I didn't want to go with a big, fat fattie!
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Jazz:
Kali, that's harsh. He's really nice.
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Kali:
Oh, I know. He's a sweetie, and anyway, he has a girlfriend.
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Jazz:
Really? Who would date that big, fat fattieeeee?
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*** Names changed to protect the big, fat fatties.
-
(Kali and I are buying bread from the supermarket.)
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Jazz:
I always know when you've bought the bread, because you get the medium. I prefer thick, damnit!
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Kali:
If I had my way, I'd get wholegrain. All this white bread has been making me fat.
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Jazz:
Yeah. It's the white bread that's done it. Nothing to do with the sweets, and other crap you eat.
-
Kali:
And the chocolate...
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Jazz:
Exactly. And you blame the bread!!
-
Kali:
Do you know any big friends?
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Jazz:
Uhh, yeah. Why? Darren is pretty big!
-
Kali:
To help me go get my stuff back from Chris's.
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Jazz:
Oh, you mean to scare Chris? That's pretty much EVERYONE I know.
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GLP:
I'm so damn tired. I've been up for 2 days.
-
Jazz:
Aren't you supposed to see a Doctor if it lasts more than 2 days?
-
GLP:
I wouldn't see a doctor. I'd just need a line of women.
-
Laura:
WHAT WHY WOULD YOU NEED A LINE? WHY NOT JUST ONE WOMAN?
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Jazz:
Don't worry, he's not being disrespectful to women. He doesn't want them to get sore. 2 days of constant sex will cause chafing!
